April showers...

It's gross today. Like really, really gross. It's also April 22nd. I'm not sure what happened here, but there were snow flurries over the weekend. I wore a scarf and raincoat to work and had the heater on in my car. It's April 22nd. It's days like today when I wonder why I'm not still in Texas. Even the cats think it's depressing. Damned Pacific Northwest...

Fate and Destiny.

I have always thought that these things are true. That Fate exists, but in a loose way. For instance, if you are destined or fated to break your leg it will happen at some point in your life, but depending on your choices depends when it happens. Maybe you were destined to break your leg climbing a tree as a teenager, but you changed your mind that fateful day and went to the movies instead. But fate will eventually catch up with you and when you're 35 you'll get in a car wreck and get that experience of breaking your leg that you were destined to have.

The last three years of my life have been rife with life changing events and decisions. Now, looking back, having been in Portland (again) for a year I can't help but look at the fate that has brought me to this moment and this place. If things had happened differently, if different choices had been made, where would I be right now? I can't help but think on this and believe that in all those other universes and realities, other me's are in a very similar state. I believe I would be in the same general career path, same general geographical place, same emotional state. The players and details may be different, but myself and personal universe is the same.

I am reading a book about faith, faith in oneself, faith in Faith, faith in the divinity within all people and all things, and there is a joke that is told. There was a man who prayed everyday to God to let him win the lottery. Every day he devoutly prayed that he would be granted this windfall. Then one day, God spoke back, and said, "Please, just go and buy a lottery ticket!". One cannot sit idly by and wait for their destiny to befall them. There is an active role you have to take in your life. You have to walk down the path to get to the Destiny that is set out for you. I believe all paths will cross back on each other eventually, your end will be the same, but your journey different.

I have been thinking on those different paths today. I suppose that is not something an enlightened person would do. They would think on the here and the now and let the other worlds be to themselves and not try to uncover their secrets. But I always have been an inquisitive one for things of this sort...

Nature abounds today.

This weekend has been very Oregon. It's been unseasonably cold (about 45-50) and drizzling rain most of the time. This, of course, has been my weekend to start the garden. So far in the garden space I have planted a zesty salad mix, a mild salad mix and some leeks. Turns out the soil in this part of the yard is hard and clay-y, so I am hoping these guys will fare well, and for the next plants in those areas I will have to be more prepared with better soil on hand.



I also started some seeds inside for cucumbers, tomatoes and bell peppers. I have heard that tomatoes don't fare well in the Pacific Northwest, but I think that has to do with larger beefsteak type tomatoes and the fact that our summers are not really long or really warm. So I picked a faster maturing and smaller tomato hoping to even things out.

So, I am feeling very natural today. I spent a good chunk of today and yesterday with my hands in the dirt. I found lots and lots of grubs and earthworms. (They are slimy). Working outside and using my body felt really good. Plus it was raining and I just had to deal with it, which felt nice too. It's good every once in a while to break of your air conditioned life and just live with the elements. If only for an afternoon.

Another bit of nature made it into my house today too. A mouse. A big mouse. And my cats liked him too. They batted him around in the house a bit until we got him in a box and outside. But then the cats found him outside and incapacitated him, but didn't kill him. They left him slowly dying on my stoop and came inside to rest up and eat. It was gross and I felt bad. But I let the kitties back out and they batted the mouse around a bit more and did kill it, which is good so I didn't have to do it. But they have left it on the stoop and have gone off to play. Those damn ungrateful kids. I guess it's a gift of sorts. They do leave their toy mice on my pillow sometimes, which is much cuter than a real one....